Diary Update:

Today was a rollercoaster of emotions for me. I attended the International Women’s Day event at work, and it was an incredible experience. The event was designed to celebrate women’s rights, accomplishments, and encourage women in the technology industry. The organizers came up with an interesting activity where each person picked a stereotype that they had been labeled with in the past that was pinned to the wall and tell a story about it. Afterward, we ripped up the label as a sign to show that it no longer applies to us and never did. It was a powerful message of empowerment and letting go of limiting beliefs.

However, leading up to the event, I was a bundle of nerves. I had been struggling with anxiety and stress, and I barely slept the night before. My mind was running wild with negative thoughts, and I felt overwhelmed. In times like this, I find that my own mind is my worst enemy. The closer I got to the event, the more my anxiety grew, and I felt physically ill. But I didn’t let my fears and doubts hold me back. I found the courage to push through and attend the event. I went to the disabled bathroom to freshen up and check myself out. Looking in the full-length mirror, I took a deep breath, brushed my hair, washed my face, and did a quick shave. I checked myself out again, and I felt proud of my identity.

With every step towards the boardroom, I could feel myself becoming more confident, standing straighter and taller, and by the time I made it to the door, I felt invincible. The drinks, food, and welcoming environment made me feel more comfortable, and being around other women, as a transgender woman, was exhilarating. It was a moment of realization for me that I had been overthinking everything. I was letting my negative thoughts control me and almost had me backing out of the event. But I didn’t let it get the best of me, and I’m so glad I attended.

The event was a great success, and I came out of it with a deeper understanding of the women I work with and what each person has struggled with. I feel like I have created stronger bonds within the workplace, and I have a deeper and better understanding of myself. It was an authentic experience, and there was no acting involved, except for a little bit of hiding since I’m not great at speaking in front of groups.

As I reflect on the day, I realize that sometimes it’s best to go with the flow and not overthink things. I struggled, but I don’t want anyone else to go through what I went through. So, to anyone reading this, don’t let your fears and doubts hold you back. Take a deep breath, believe in yourself, and go out there and be authentic.

This was a day of personal success for me, and it’s time for some changes. I’m excited to see where this newfound confidence takes me.

Personal Goals:

Days without Alcohol: 5D 00h 16m 26s